Grizzly Man

Timothy Treadwell, Werner Herzog, assorted bears

"In nature, there are boundaries"


I knew little about this documentary when I pulled it off the shelf, and I naively slid the disc into the machine expecting to see some type of scientist who lived among bears for a few years in order to study them, and therefore benefit them and mankind with the knowledge he gleans. Instead, I saw a documentary about a disturbed individual who lived among bears while nursing a secret desire to get eaten by them, which unfortunately for him, came true.

If it sounds like I’m being a little harsh on Timothy Treadwell, believe me – it’s deserved. People in the movie who knew him are harsh on him also, with the exception of a couple of flighty woman friends who maintain his claim that he was just out to protect bears from the encroachment of mankind, because “he loved them so”.

That Tim Treadwell loved animals is obvious. He especially loved Wild Alaskan Grizzly Bears. He loved them so much that he was willing to forfeit his own life and that of his girlfriend in order to somehow benefit them in a misguided attempt to raise awareness of a plight that doesn’t really exist. Treadwell seemed to be under the impression that the bears are endangered, which isn’t true.

I don’t want to get into a big thing about bear conservation in this review, especially when Darrell, The Southern Conservative, covered the topic in a fascinating and extremely well written post last year that I happen to agree one hundred percent with. Suffice it to say that I think bears, especially 800 pound Alaskan Grizzly Bears, should be left alone. They shouldn’t be shot, fed, captured, talked to, played with, phoned up, invited to parties or added as friends on MySpace. I know it comes across as anti-social, but I think people should just continue letting them have those thousands of acres of protected refuge up there so that they can roam around freely and do what bears do, and the wildlife service that’s entrusted with their care should just peek in on them now and then to make sure they’re okay. There, that’s all I’ll say about that.

Somehow, in a twisted perspective on the circle of life, Treadwell decided it’d be a good thing to go up there and spend 13 consecutive summers living among them in their refuge while avoiding the wildlife service people and disregarding their warnings that it probably wasn’t a terribly intelligent way to go about “helping” the bears. He took along some video equipment and got some outstanding footage of the bears in action though, which is one of the reasons I gave this DVD a high rating. The other reason is that one can’t help but watch in morbid fascination as Treadwell goes about his business while knowing full well that he’s going to eventually end up as an appetizer. By the way, that’s no spoiler – the Director, Werner Herzog, tells you right up front about his sad demise. Fortunately for the squeamish it wasn’t filmed, and the existing audio track of Treadwell and his girlfriend, Amie Huguenard, in their last minutes of life is not used in the film (It’s believed that Amie had managed to start the camera during the bear attack, but didn’t get a chance to get the lens cap off. The result is a six minute audio track of their final moments which I understand includes a lot of screaming).

This documentary is beautifully filmed, with most of the credit for that going to Treadwell. He had good instincts as a filmmaker and I wish he’d stuck to observing wildlife with a telephoto lens, so that we could enjoy his work for years to come. But instead of just filming Grizzlies from a respectable distance, he had an unfortunate tendency to plant the camera on a tripod and walk up to them as if he was walking into a supermarket to get a quart of milk. I have to admit it did make for an entertaining documentary though, especially when you know that it inevitably didn’t work out quite so well for him.



In summation, I think it best that we go directly to the Protagonist and the Antagonist in this film, to get THEIR perspectives on the matter. Forget my opinion – judge for yourself whether or not you want to see this DVD by reading the following quotes directly from the source. First is Timothy Treadwell himself, as heard in the film in a segment shot not too long before the fatal attack that ended it all..

“I'm in love with my animal friends! I'm in love with my
animal friends! In love with my animal friends! I'm very, very troubled. It's very emotional. It's probably not cool even looking like this. I'm so in love with them, and they're so fucked over, which so sucks.”

Now, let’s hear from the bear that abruptly ended Treadwell’s mission, just moments before Rangers tracked it down and shot it..

“White meat make funny noises smell bad. Little silver meat in water gone away. I try chase brown furry meat but I old! Brown furry meat too fast! I so hungry I go to white meat that make funny noises and smell bad. White meat small and weak and no move fast so I taste it. HEY! IT TASTE BETTER THAN SMELL! It make loud noises so I crush it and eat. It make no more noise I eat and now I no hungry! WHITE MEAT TASTE GOOD! Later when I hungry again I go look for more!"



Timothy Treadwell loved the bears. They didn’t love him back.


4 very sharp, six inch long flesh shredding claws out of 5

It's official..

Dorian the Queen Bee is now in charge of the video store. I just found out last night while I was at work, because she had her district manager drop her off so that she could tell me about the promotion in person. Some of you may recall that the store manager quit in a huff, which is kind of what everyone was hoping for, and Dorian was left in a position of interim manager while the company figured out how they wanted to handle it. It took a little over a week, but they just told her last night that the store is now hers, along with a substantial pay increase and other goodies.

I think all of the little worker drones are VERY glad to have the queen bee in place, and not in the least bit unhappy that the maniacal dictator is now gone forever. He had a tendency to do some very strange things, including throwing me out of the store once for.. uh.. well, nothing.

So now my wife makes more than I do. She hires and fires, too. Wow, I’m impressed.

Anyone want a job in a video store? I know the boss!


5 extremely proud husbands out of 5

The Ice Harvest

John Cusak, Billy Bob Thornton, Connie Nielsen, Randy Quaid and Oliver Platt

“Thick Thieves. Thin Ice”


I don’t think I’m going to be visiting Wichita anytime soon. It always seems to be cold and dreary there when I see it in the movies, such as in 1987’s Planes, Trains & Automobiles where a creepy cabbie drove Steve Martin and the late, great John Candy around in the middle of the night to “see the sights”. The Ice Harvest hasn’t done anything to enhance my opinion of the place, as John Cusak and Billy Bob Thornton cook up an ill conceived plan to rip off their boss, who just happens to be a mobster, and make off with over 2 million in cash so that they can head to a warmer climate and start life anew.

Billy Bob plays a shady character named Vic, who’s only slightly better at being bad then John Cusak’s Charlie, both of whom work for Bill the mob boss (Randy Quaid). The thing is, they’re not mobsters by any stretch- Vic runs a sleazy strip joint and Charlie is Bill’s lawyer, so neither of them are very proficient at pulling a big time Christmas heist, but they decide to do it anyway, and hilarity sort of ensues.

This movie isn’t really a comedy although it seems to want to be- but maybe it’s just too darned cold in Wichita for anyone to be funny. There are mirthful moments though, and most of them can be chalked up to the perpetually drunken Pete (Oliver Platt), the guy who married Charlie's ex-wife. Randy Quaid is engaging in his one scene toward the end, as Bill the mob boss tries to track down the boys who absconded with his cash.

The saving grace of this movie is that it’s not quite as simple as described above- complications crop up, trust becomes an issue and surprises sneak in just in time to make things interesting. Connie Nielsen plays the dame responsible for some of the complicating. Leave it to a blonde, huh?

The Ice Harvest is neither god-awful or great, it just is what it is. I guarantee that in a couple of weeks someone will ask me if I’ve seen it and I’ll have to stop and think for a few seconds before I remember that I have.


3 large footlockers (with hit men in them) out of 5

Happy Accidents

Marisa Tomei, Vincent D’Onofrio

“The future just isn’t what it used to be”




A few years ago we paid a visit to our local video store, long before Dorian worked in the current one, and we rented this delightful little gem of an indy film because it looked like it might have some potential. It turned out to have so much potential that we ended up buying a copy, which I pulled out last night and blew the dust off of for my second viewing. I’d forgotten how thoroughly entertaining it is.

It’s definitely a romantic comedy, with more emphasis on the romance than the comedy, along with plenty of drama, mystery and science fiction woven throughout a story that kept me mesmerized the first time I saw it and then again last night. Vincent D’Onofrio is at his quirkiest best as a dorky misfit named Sam who claims to be a time traveler who's come almost 500 years into the past, all for the love of a beautiful woman named Ruby, who is beautifully played by Marisa Tomei. How's THAT for romance, ladies?

I’ve had a celluloid crush on Marisa since that silly heart movie with Christian Slater, and Vincent always makes me grin, with all of his ticks and gestures that seem to be present in every character he plays, but never so appropriately as here. Sam is a geeky nervous wreck, and if he’s to be believed about traveling so far back into time, well then OF COURSE he doesn’t fit in- would YOU fit in if you ended up back in 1600? I’d personally have a hard time of it. But there’s always the possibility that he doesn’t fit in simply because.. well.. he just doesn’t fit in, so he makes up an incredible story to bring his life from the edge of tedium into the realm of the fantastic, therefore causing the vivacious Ruby to fall in love with him while she stands in awe of his mystical presence..

..or maybe he’s just a raving lunatic.

Happy Accidents was released in 2000, and the following year a similar film with a larger budget and some bigger stars hit the video shelves- K-PAX with Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges. Ironically, Kevin’s character claims to be an alien in that film (as in from another planet, not another country) and the fun in it is trying to figure out if he’s telling the truth, or if he’s a tad bonkers. K-PAX is entertaining, but I personally like this movie better. It’s very nicely written and directed by Brad Anderson, and the sparkling dialogue helps the acting from the two leads remain top notch, such as in the scene where Sam is finally forced to tell Ruby who he really is..

SAM- “Okay, okay- I’ll tell you, alright?” (pause) “I’m not from Dubuque”

RUBY- (tearfully, as she fears her new boyfriend is about to tell her something she doesn’t want to hear) “Okay, you’re not from Dubuque- where are you from then?”

SAM- (pause) “Dubuque”

(RUBY SCREAMS)

SAM- “I’m not from Dubuque in the way that you THINK I’m from Dubuque..”

RUBY- “Well HOW many ways can you be from Dubuque?”

SAM- “I’m not from YOUR Dubuque”

RUBY- “My Dubuque? Since when is Dubuque mine? I’ve never even BEEN to Ohio”

SAM- “Iowa..”

RUBY- “WHATEVER!”

SAM- “Look, I’m just saying that- my Dubuque is different from your Dubuque”

RUBY- “How?”

SAM- “It doesn’t exist”

RUBY- “You just SAID it’s in IDAHO!”

SAM- “IOWA!”

RUBY- “So your Dubuque doesn’t exist..”

SAM- “Yet”

RUBY- “Yet”

SAM- “YET!”

RUBY- “YET?”

SAM- “YET!”

RUBY- “And when WILL your Dubuque exist?”

SAM- (long pause) “ Two thousand four hundred and seventy- A.D. Uh, that’s in- four hundred and seventy one years- from now”

RUBY- (pause) “what?”



Unfortunately this movie eventually ends, but at least it’s an ending that leaves you with some closure, and a bit of wonderment.

Happy Accidents is a great date movie. It’s funny, smart, charming, clever, romantic and a bit silly, but not very. And I just remembered another reason why I love Marisa- the girl can cry so well on screen, she breaks my heart with every tear.


5 relative quantum spacetime continuum fissures (based on the Euclidean space perception and Cheeseman's theory) out of 5

Just Like Heaven

"It's a wonderful afterlife"


Some time ago I had a great story idea for a screenplay- it was going to be about this guy who meets this girl and falls in love with her, and she with him, but there’s a slight technicality that hinders their potential bliss- she’s dead.

When I saw the trailer for Just Like Heaven I knew I was doomed. I couldn’t write it now, because even though this looked like a romantic comedy, I’d come off like a copy cat. But now that I’ve seen the movie, I know I’m safe. Mine is going to be dark and gothic- Just Like Heaven is fluffy and light. Mine is going to be scary and sad, whereas Just Like Heaven is happy and bright. My girl is a ghost. In Just Like Heaven, well.. I’ll stop there.

I’ve liked Reese Witherspoon since I saw her in her first film years ago; a simple little drama called Man In The Moon, where she played a confused young girl dealing with a bit of heartbreak and living in the shadow of her older sister. I couldn’t help thinking that this young actress had something special and I’m glad that for once I was right. Years later I got to hang out with her on the set of Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde, which is a less than great film, but Reese was impressive in more ways than one. She was friendly, yet professional, and focused on what she had to do. There was no Prima Donna attitude with this girl, so it was easy to see why her career has been so favorable in spite of movies like that one- and this one.

I sound like I’m being a little rough on Just Like Heaven, but I don’t mean to be- it’s a sweet little romantic comedy that’s neither better than or worse than any others. The little twist in the story is what gives it an edge- Reese’s character, Elizabeth Masterson, refuses to leave her apartment when the new tenant, David Abbott (Mark Ruffalo), moves in. Why should she? Just because she can walk through walls and furniture and nobody can see her? What kind of reason is THAT?? Of course it turns out that David can see her, for who knows what reason, and they go from there.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that Reese shines as always, Mark Ruffalo sort of plods through this role as if he were just paying the bills. I’ve liked him in previous roles, so I haven’t a clue what’s up with that. Maybe he doesn’t REALLY believe in ghosts? At least it’s not bad enough to be distracting, since the story is enjoyable enough to take you all the way through. It may be a bit predictable though, but that’s okay- then the fun lies in seeing how your prediction is going to play out.

In the video store the other night a man in his fifties asked for a recommendation on a good “date movie”. He said, “my wife and I have been through a hard time lately and we don’t want to have to think- we just want to laugh a little and feel good.” The clerk recommended Just Like Heaven for him, so he rented it.

Good choice.


3 transparent blondes out of 5

The Weather Man

"Bring an umbrella"


I KNEW IT!

I just knew that the grass is always greener, just as they say, and that a guy who makes $270,000.00 a year would yearn for more. Not just more money, but something different- in spite of the fact that he has one of the coolest and easiest jobs in the world, which he happens to be very gifted at, which makes it even easier. I just knew that a guy like that would yearn for an even better job and a better life.

Nicolas Cage, as Chicago Weather Man David Spritz, is on the news every night and is a local celebrity who some people ask for an autograph and some other people chuck food items at in public. He has an ex-wife who he’s managed to stay friends with despite the fact that she divorced him because he forgot the tarter sauce one evening, and a 12 year old daughter who tips the bathroom scale a little more than she should. He tries desperately to relate to and please both of them, as he does his impersonal and overly dignified father who is played by the great Michael Caine.

Alas, David’s life bores him, and that network job with it’s ten-fold increase in pay and celebrity status is beckoning, but he’d have to move all the way to New York City if he were to take it. What to do? Oh, what to DO??

That’s about it in The Weather Man. Nothing else really happens- it’s all pretty much just David Spritz and his relationship with those around him and weather (no typo there) or not he’s going to get that network job. I don’t know why I expected more, but I did.. silly me. At the point in the film where David takes up archery as a hobby I thought, “Oh good, he’s going to go nuts and shoot someone in the butt with an arrow”, but no such luck.

The Weather Man is a nice little movie about life and familial relations that will make you laugh a little and cry not at all. It’s just a story about a guy looking for greener grass to mow, and not much else. I probably would have liked it more if I had lowered my expectations. Make a cup of tea and curl up on the sofa to watch this movie on a rainy afternoon and you’ll be fine- it’s nice and relaxing.


3 hurled Wendy's frostys out of 5

North Country

"All she wanted was to make a living-
instead, she made history"


Okay, men are pigs. Well, I’m not, but the men who work in this Minnesota iron mine sure are. Well, not all of them, but most of them. Woody Harrelson isn't, but he doesn't work in the mine- he plays an attorney who reluctantly defends a young woman in a landmark sexual harassment case, which is the first of it’s kind and ends up setting a precedent that shapes policy in thousands of companies for years to come.

Based on a true story (geez, what isn’t nowadays?) this film is a fictitious account of the abuse endured by the young woman, played here by Charlize Theron, and the action she takes to put an end to it.

As Josie Aimes, Charlize is not pretty in this film. She’s not “Monster” ugly, but she’s just not her usually glamorous self and I respect her for that. She could just go on modeling and playing glamour roles, but she’s chosen instead to tackle some parts that an actress wouldn’t otherwise be able to pull off unless she has some acting chops. I had lunch with her one time in the Mel’s Diner on Sunset, and- well, okay, I didn’t actually HAVE LUNCH with her- she and her beau, Stuart Townsend, were sitting at an adjacent booth having lunch while I sat facing them and having mine- but the point is that I couldn’t get my eyes off of her. She’s one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen and she could just go on making a fortune by sticking with that. But she’s chosen not too, and I’m impressed by her ability to portray such a gritty, down to earth character who’s not afraid to look ugly on film. In a hardhat and overalls, covered with sweat, soot and tears, she’s hardly her usually exquisite self.

Ugliness permeates this story. The landscape is ugly, as is the town these people live in. The majority of men who work in this mine are ugly in their souls. I said that these guys are pigs, but I’m not being fair to pigs here- this story goes beyond skin deep and peeks into the darkness, showing us a very bleak and distasteful side of humanity that leaves me nauseous when I realize how thoroughly based in reality it is. I’ve known men like this.

There’s a reason, of course, that these particular guys are so abusive of these particular women who come to work in the iron mine because of a recent supreme court ruling against sexual discrimination in hiring. To them, it’s a man’s world and they’re not about to make things comfortable for their feminine coworkers, because they’d just as soon not have them around in the first place. They see the potential for an accident because women aren’t up to the job, and they also feel that production has slowed down since the company was forced to hire females.

Whether or not these are valid reasons I don’t know, having never worked in an iron mine, but their way of going about showing their displeasure is quite unacceptable- the woman miners are spat upon, groped, and forced into nasty situations, such as cleaning excrement from the walls of their own locker room. The excrement, of course, was put their by male coworkers who used it to write obscenities on the walls. Dildos are put into their lunch boxes and outhouses are tipped over while they occupy them. It’s all WAY beyond hazing.

Josie decides to file a lawsuit to put an end to it all, after meeting with a dead end when she realizes that her supervisor and even the owner of the company himself are on the same page as her male coworkers. She has difficulty recruiting the other women though, who take the abuse because the union wages are just a bit too nice to jeopardize. A lot of them have kids to support and nowhere to turn if they were to lose the case, so why take the chance?

In the end it comes down to dignity.

Two honorable mentions here- Francis McDormand as Josie’s friend Glory, who gets her the job in the first place, and Richard Jenkins as Josie’s Father. Both of these roles are outstanding and the actors in them are very impressive.

This film shows the need for legislation against sexual harassment in the workplace, even though I feel that enforcement has gone too far at times. I don’t think a guy should get fired for calling a female coworker “sweetie” (and vice versa), but I don’t feel that women (or anyone) should ever be treated as shown in this film. It’s a difficult line to draw and it just shows how sadly necessary federal enforcement is when it comes to the dark side of human nature.

Why can’t we just all behave?


4 lunchboxes (with only an apple and a sandwich in them) out of 5

RENT

“New York city, center of the universe-
times are shitty, but I’m sure they can’t get worse"
-Angel

Adapted from Puccini’s “La Boheme” (The Bohemians) into a Pulitzer and Tony Award winning stage musical by the late Jonathan Larson, and then onto the screen by Chris Columbus and Stephen Chbosky, this tale of life and love among the bohemians of New York’s East Village transcends borders and generations. La Boheme debuted in Turin, Italy in 1896 and Larson’s “Rent” opened almost a hundred years later, but both productions show us how much we as humanity do not change. We laugh, we cry, we hate, we love, and we are all susceptible to vices, no matter the country, no matter the era. We are human, and no human is more so than a bohemian, which the American Heritage Dictionary defines as “a person with artistic or literary interests who disregards conventional standards of behavior.”

I’m not one for convention myself, and although it’d be a stretch to define myself as a bohemian, I do understand what it’s about. I was given an artistic temperament at my inception and as a result I eschew corporate notions and ideals. I embrace individualism and expression of self. I love La Boheme- and I love RENT.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to musicals, so the rock opera approach has never been that appealing to me. The Who’s “Tommy”, although catchy in places, is too much for my ears and Lloyd Webber’s early pop stuff comes off as brash and simplistic. I like things on stage to flow and have beauty, so the great operas such as La Boheme and La Traviata have found a place in my soul, as have modern day productions in the classical tradition, such as Les Miserable and Phantom of the Opera. If there’s an electric guitar in the orchestra pit then I’m probably staying home, which is an odd thing for a Led Zeppelin fan to say, but I’m just talking about stage and screen musicals. The old MGM screen musicals of the 40s and 50s sit well with me too, so I’m hard pressed to get much out of anything that doesn’t have tap dancing or a tenor.

In RENT it’s the story that matters, even though a few of the musical numbers stand out and stay with me, most notably the anthem of the show, “Seasons of Love”. Another standout number, “Today 4 U” is performed by Wilson Jermain Heredia as “Angel”, in a percussion number using drumsticks, much like Fred Astaire did in the number “Drum Crazy” from 1948’s Easter Parade. Both of them ingeniously utilize the drumsticks to catch the rhythm of the song while they dance. It’s almost musical theatre blasphemy to compare anyone to the late great Fred Astaire, but Heredia brings skill and character to what must be a very difficult number. Astaire fans from the old days would also have a difficult time accepting that Angel is a drag queen who performs “Today 4 U” in a feminine santa suit, but to say that it can only be done in a certain way that meets with one’s criteria is to forget what the bohemians are all about. Frankly, I think Fred Astaire would have found it amusing.

This story has gay themes, but it’s not all about that- it just happens to be a part of the setting. If you're relunctant to accept homosexuality in society, then consider it a metaphor for your own desires and this story will serve you well.

There’s also some drug use in the setting and some of the characters are dying of AIDS. Not everyone in the story is dying, and not everyone uses drugs- it’s just that some of them are and in that way it’s a reflection of reality. Of course, most of us don’t burst into a sad love song when a dear one dies in our arms (although I might someday), but the tragic human condition depicted in this story certainly isn’t alien to any of us. On some level we can all relate to it, and that’s the part of RENT that appeals to each and every one of us.

I couldn’t give this film my top score because I just couldn’t get into some of the musical numbers- but it comes close. The cast is top notch, as is the direction and flow. I haven’t seen the stage version and probably won’t, so no comparisons here- just an honest assessment of a poignant musical film that packs an emotional punch.

Life is love.

4 rent checks out of 5

Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber

Jennifer Love Hewitt, Joseph Lawrence


A fluffy showpiece for Jennifer Love Hewitt to bounce around in and show off some curves, this made for cable movie will keep the boys happy, as long as they're not James Lipton. Love Hewitt seems comfortable when doing sweet, demure and sensitive roles, ala "Ghost Whisperer", but she always seems to lack acting chops when called upon to play the scoundrel, as in Heartbreakers and this trivial boob showcase. Fortunately for her the guys get too caught up in the cleavage to pay attention to the acting. There's something for the girls too (and the guys who lean the other way) in her gay friend Ferguson, played by Joey (oops- "Joseph") Lawrence, who's blossomed into quite the hunkalicious vision of man candy over the past few years. Looks like he's been spending time in the gym when not acting, which is most of the time for him.

In spite of a simple story that goes virtually nowhere, there's some redeeming value in this movie- she may be a scoundrel, but in the end Love teaches us all a little something about the value of friendship and, uh.. *ahem* LOVE, over material possessions, so this movie doesn't totally suck.

NOTE- not necessarily one for the kids. The opening scene depicts a guy with his head buried under her skirt, which you may not want to have to explain to your 8 year old. The cover of the DVD doesn't look like this piece has an R rating, but it certainly does, and deservedly so.

2 tits out of 5 (nice ones too!)

Domino

"Based on a true story- sort of"

Jittery, high speed saga of a beautiful bounty hunter with issues involving goldfish. It's as if Tony Scott made a really good MTV video that just happens to be two hours long, with it's rockin' soundtrack and fast fast fast pace, even when things are slow. It moves a bit too fast for me in my old age, but perhaps you'll like it if you were raised on video games (I had a hard time keeping up with PacMan). This film HAD to have been an editing nightmare but the end result is impressive, although I couldn't help feel at times like I was watching a Tarantino wannabee.

Keira Knightly and Mickey Rourke- WOW. He's a big ugly badass as always, and she's a beautiful badass- it's badass heaven.

Based on a true story, "sort of" (that's what the opening credits say) it's hard to imagine there ever was a real life Domino, as portrayed here by Keira. If so, I "sort of" wished I had known her, she would have made things very interesting.. as long as I wasn't a bad guy with her on my tail.

Did I mention that the soundtrack is awesome? Yeah? Well, it bears repeating. Turn it up.

4 sawed off shotguns out of 5